Imagining a costume

My husband joked yet again about how easy things would be if only I would put the kids in school. I told him he had another think coming: two school runs a day, uniforms to buy, wash and iron, helping with homework, manufacturing costumes for World Book Day with three days' notice. So I hear.

He suggests sending her as some sort of literary urchin. That's right up my alley: whenever we have to produce a costume for a home ed history day, I always plump for the pauper look. The Kid groans and rolls her eyes in embarrassment. "I'm going to run away from home and live with the wolves," she declares.

"I've got news for you," I reply, "The wolves aren't going to make you a decent costume either... unless you want to go as Mowgli?" And not your Disnified Mowgli either, I think, clad in improbable pants. "Naked!!" both of us parents shout in glee. "We'll send her to school naked. With a flaming torch."

I am counting down the weeks until World Book Day.

Blotted our copybook already

Welcome pack duly received. Full of enthusiasm, the Kid immediately set about completing the application form for the local authority, using her own spelling and barely-decipherable handwriting. I mentally rehearsed the phrase, "But don't you WANT her to practice her writing?"

Her diligent efforts were punctuated by requests for advice on filling bits in:

Kid: "Previous education"?

Me: Put "Home educated."

Snide Dad: No, put "None."

Me: "HOME EDUCATED"!!

Kid: How do you spell "home"?

Dad: See what I mean? Put "None."

Later we examined the Home School agreement. My section contained nothing to which I objected, so I signed. The Kid, however, has been learning to consider documents before signing them. She observed that her section obliged her to "do all my classwork and homework as well as I can" and also "tell my teacher if there is anything bothering me." She wasn't prepared to agree to do this at all times. She expects that at times the work will seem pointless and she won't be bothered to give it her all. And she didn't want to share every personal matter with her teacher. I advised her to sign it only if she was prepared to follow it. She decided not to sign. I wrote "declined to sign" across it.

Upon receiving the forms, the secretary said The Kid must sign hers. I pointed out the word "optional" on the form. Looking doubtful, she said she'd have to check with the headteacher, because "everyone has always signed it before..." I don't think either one of us is going to fit in, somehow.